Nothing wrong with being mediocre, the cruelty is that you cannot escape the mediocrity.
Dear people and people from the future, thank you for interesting in the moaning of my mediocre story.
At this moment, I am a master student at University of Jyväskylä. The graduation month is approaching, and I don’t know how to find a job! I always make excuses that I am doing my master thesis, how could I have time to find jobs? Even though I turn on the “open for job” in Linkin, I did not look at the job notification they sent to me…Because I am afraid that my shitty English will blow off my opportunity of the company that are interested in my profile…Maybe when the summer comes, my language proficiency level will successfully increase to sufficiency.
Learning Languages Ruined My Life by Phoenix Hou describes how people suffer the pain of culture schizophrenia. But let me tell you what is a really ruined life of learning languages should be. It is no matter how hard you try, you still stumble in the language. you could have spend the time in any competitive skills. That is why I keep asking myself “why am i such mediocre” that I could even fluent a common language.
Another anxiety is from age. a paper “Why the Days Seem Shorter as We Get Older” says that because when we perceive information rate decrease over time, we feel the time go faster as we get older. That is another “good” new for mediocre people like me. Not only I lose the rat race to my contemporary, but also I could not grab as much time as I can to study.