The other day, my friend asked me just out of curiosity, “How often do you face racist experiences in Finland?”. I said “Just once”.
“When? and how?”. He frowned in a very puzzled way.
“Do you remember the girl, just passed by and I said hello to?” I said.
“The Chinese girl replied to you in English?”
“Yes, her. “
“What happened?”. My friend was astonished.
“That’s a long story. But in short, once she found out where I was from, she IMMEDIATELY told my girlfriend not to marry a man from my province. Even though we’re from the same province, can you believe it?” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Vittu, she said that in your face?”.
Like she has the nerve to say it to my face I thought. “No, The first time I met her, I didn’t mention where I am from. A group of us were having a barbecue. After that, the girls became friends, including my girlfriend. One time she invited the girls for dinner. When she found out my girlfriend is dating me and where I am from. She said do not marry a man from FUJIAN. Then my girlfriend told me about it and how she thinks I am old and ugly.”
Later that night, I had video chat with my girlfriend and somehow the conversation was brought up. I got very wrath, when my girlfriend added more details. Like, the second time I went to their barbecue, she tried to compare me to her boyfriend such as height. I didn’t pay any attention to that until my girlfriend said she felt very uncomfortable hearing that. Nevertheless, during several girls’ nights they had. Whenever I was in the topic, the woman did not at once stop insulting me esp. sexual ability.
I want to record such things in my life, reminding me that you can not make everybody like you. I tried very hard to reflect myself whether I said something upset her. As far as I could remember, I only said “Thank you, this is a very delicious cake you made.” to her. besides that we barely talk. My girlfriend tried to comfort me by saying she may be hurted by people from my province. In Chinese, we have such philosophy: “可恨之人必有可悲之苦”, which means whoever is hateful must have their misery.
To be a bigger man in such a situation is difficult. Sometimes I think about how could Jesus forgive those who killed him ? In my case, I don’t even die. I don’t remember how many times in my life I have faced such despisedness. Each time, I feel the strength and motivation to become a better person but I don’t forgive.